Over the past decade, I’ve helped hundreds of people apply for scholarships, from college funds to prestigious national fellowships like the Rhodes, Schwarzman, and Fulbright scholarships. There’s one key change that I’ve found can often make the difference between winning and losing. This insight comes not only from working with ‘top students’ but also from supporting first-generation, low-income students. As a George Mitchell Scholar and Henry Luce Scholar (I turned down a Fulbright for the Luce), and with my younger brother being a Schwarzman Scholar, I’m very familiar with elite scholarships.
When writing your scholarship essays, you significantly improve your chances of winning by including a clear, ‘not-fully-delusional’ but perhaps ‘semi-delusional’ long-term professional role or position as your 10-20 year goal. Too many applicants fail to articulate this goal clearly enough. It’s understandable that as a young applicant, you might not have a precise long-term plan. It may even seem absurd to expect yourself to know who you’ll be in 20 years. However, scholarship programs are making bets on who to invest thousands, if not tens of thousands, of dollars into. If you and another applicant are identical in every way, but they have a clearer long-term goal, the scholarship committee will choose them over you. I’ve observed that those less familiar with the ‘culture of higher education’ are often more honest about not knowing their long-term plans—but this is a crucial area where clarity really matters.
Here are some other common issues I’ve noticed:
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The First Impression Matters: Getting the first sentence or paragraph right is crucial. Applicants who might lack confidence in their ability to ‘artistically’ share their story often introduce themselves in a dull, straightforward manner in the first paragraph of their personal statements. You don’t want to be boring. To improve your introduction, think like a movie director: imagine how they introduce moviegoers to a new film. They ‘paint a picture’ and drop you, the viewer, into the middle of a new scene, even if it seems sudden and abrupt. Do the same with your writing—drop the reader into the scene and paint the full picture. The artistic writing is the ‘bun’ that delivers the ‘meat’ (your long-term goal: ‘who will this applicant become?’).
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Show Passion: Many of you will write about a topic you care deeply about. If so, you must show an almost-excessive—but not quite crazy—level of passion for that topic. While telling your story, you should also aim to convince the reader to care about your topic. This isn’t the primary goal of your essay, but if your writing is strong and convincing enough, it should have that effect. Great writing can make the reader pause and think, “Oh, that’s really compelling.” People who accomplish great things are usually very passionate about their field or work. You must not only have passion but also be able to showcase it effectively.
Good luck!