Hi everyone. I’m a Grade 12 student at a pretty expensive university in the Philippines. My mom made me apply for a merit scholarship after Grade 11 to help with the costs because tuition is really high, and she’s the main breadwinner for our family. I put together my resume, which was pretty basic—I only listed my academic achievements, a few contest wins, and some skills. My mom also reviewed my letter of request, and we even argued because she thought it seemed like I wasn’t putting in enough effort, but I still submitted it.
I was supposed to get an email by June or July if I was accepted, and if you didn’t hear anything, you could assume you weren’t chosen. But two weeks ago, I got an email saying I was awarded a merit scholarship until I graduate, after they carefully reviewed my application.
At first, I was really happy and grateful. But then doubts started to creep in. I know I’m not that smart (I’m just being realistic), I fail a lot of my quizzes, and my writing is just okay. I didn’t even get interviewed for the scholarship like some other people did, so how could they choose me without even meeting me? The school year has just started, and I already feel like I can’t keep up. I’m worried I don’t deserve this and that I’ll lose the scholarship by the end of the first semester. :((
You need to change your mindset and start believing in yourself and your abilities. Excelling in university is a choice you can make. Stay on top of your pre-reading, take detailed notes during lectures, listen carefully, and do additional research (the internet is full of resources!). Start your assignments early and begin studying for exams ahead of time. Many of the top scorers I know aren’t necessarily the smartest—they’re just hardworking. You’ve got this!
As someone who constantly doubted herself and struggled with imposter syndrome, even when my grades said otherwise, I’d say go for it. If they believe you’re good enough, why shouldn’t you? My biggest regret is not having the courage to pursue opportunities. This year, I was eligible for a master’s program in France, but I let it slip away because I convinced myself I didn’t score well enough, even though I did. Sometimes you just have to take a chance and see what happens. If you get it, then you truly deserve it.
That’s actually pretty common and is known as Imposter Syndrome—the feeling of being a “fraud” or feeling undeserving of your accomplishments compared to others. Look up ways to manage Imposter Syndrome, and if possible, discuss it with a therapist!
I think this is what I’ve been feeling. It’s hard to talk about it without others thinking you’re just seeking praise or attention (which is definitely not the case). I’ll look into it more—thank you.
